понедельник, 29 сентября 2014
18:58

Deja vu

unknown_lux
Today I am feeling so insecure about myself.

Every day I wake up and I feel the urge to start a new life, a new me, go out to the world and taste it.
Every day I tell myself it won't be like it used to be.
Every day I keep reminding myself that he's told me he wants a wife who would be so busy and passionate about something, with a real drive and all inspired and stuff.

And whenever I remember that, that I need to meet someone's expectations and prove them, prove myself that I am an ultimate wonder woman, super independent, capable and busy, I feel like I don't wanna do anything at all.

I begin feeling unconscious resistance boiling somewhere deep in my soul.

And the more I resist, the more I hate myself.

I start thinking: "Why do I not want to be what I must be?!". I start panicking: "If I don't become what they want me to become, who is gonna love me?!".

What if I am never to be a successful business woman, a rich and prosperous womanly woman? Then what? He is going to leave me for someone who is?

And am I really afraid of that or am I going to be relieved if that happens? What if I just want to be loved and accepted for who I am?

What if I want to feel that I don't have to match anyone's ideas of what I should become?

And I realise. The reason for my seeming laziness, which is actually a deep-rooted fear, is my motivation.
And I am motivated by all the wrong things.
I am motivated by what I perceive to be others' ideals.

All that time, when I fail at making myself look for jobs, go out and talk to people, making myself look busy and positive, I am craving for freedom.

I need to be free of the desire to be loved again.

I do not want, no, I absolutely despise the idea of earning someone's love.

I am here, right now, and I deserve to be loved for just being and living.

If someone does not understand it and is waiting for me to become the woman of his dreams, then this person is just making me unhappy and I should really question myself whether that's the love I want to receive. An optimistically waiting or impatiently pushing you to become someone else.

And in the end I know I have all of these within me.

Right now.

I am already a successful, clever and womanly woman.

I do not need to be pushed further.

I know what I am doing. And all I want is to WANT it myself.

I want to develop myself, not change so everybody can like me.

I need to come to an agreement with myself that what I am doing on a daily basis, what I am doing for my development is not for anyone to appreciate but myself.

It's not because I am dreaming to become a perfect wife for someone, it's not because I am dreaming of growing into a wonderful daughter and buy expensive gifts for the loved ones.

It's just because I want it myself.

I have suddenly broken out with all these ugly fears that cause severe insecurity.

And I have suddenly realised how eternally grateful I will be when someone just accepts me, me, sees that I already am perfect and does not push but simply loves.

For the sake of yourself, do not try to sell yourself for love. If love demands you to be an improved and almighty version of who you are now, then this love is not worth your efforts.

Only unconditional love is worth it.

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13.02.2024 в 06:54

Гость
Здравствуйте, привет, форумчане форума!

Хотел бы поделиться с вами своим значимым опытом поиска рекомендуемого автосервиса в Оренбурге. После долгих поисков, я наконец нашел то место, которым действительно остался доволен — AutoLife 56.

Что мне особенно понравилось в AutoLife56, так это мастерство специалистов каждого специалиста этого сервиса. Мастера не только качественно и оперативно решили проблему с моим автомобилем, но и предоставили ценные советы по его дальнейшему обслуживанию.

Мне кажется важным поделиться этой информацией с вами, так как знаю, насколько сложно порой найти действительно надежный сервис. Если вы ищете рекомендованный автосервис в Оренбурге, рекомендую обратить внимание на АвтоЛайф 56, расположенный по адресу: г. Оренбург, ул. Берёзка, 20, корп. 2. Они работают с 10 утра до 8 вечера, каждый день, и более подробную информацию вы можете найти на их сайте: https://autolife56.ru/.

Надеюсь, мой опыт окажется информативным для кого-то из вас. Буду рад почитать ваши отзывы, если решите воспользоваться услугами AutoLife 56.

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Вашему вниманию советуем лучший автосервис в Оренбурге - сервис AutoLife56 Рекомендация: выдающийся автосервис в Оренбурге - автосервис AutoLife Вашему вниманию рекомендуем проверенный автосервис в Оренбурге - АвтоЛайф Вашему вниманию советуем проверенный автосервис в Оренбурге - автосервис AutoLife Вашему вниманию советуем проверенный автосервис в Оренбурге - автосервис AutoLife dba0453
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